


As long as his eyes are still closed

by BloodyIria



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa 3: The End of 希望ヶ峰学園 | The End of Kibougamine Gakuen | End of Hope's Peak High School
Genre: M/M, Missing Moments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-26
Updated: 2016-10-26
Packaged: 2018-08-27 04:16:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8386873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BloodyIria/pseuds/BloodyIria
Summary: White sheets, white hair all over the pillow, white bandages around his uncovered chest.White.Dazzling, blinding, so asphyxiating you could feel that light pressing you down on your knees and sucking your life away.





	

  **As long as his eyes are still closed**

   
In the beginning, you were feeling only shame. Standing up next to Munakata’s bed, you were looking down at him, pale as only death could be.  
White sheets, white hair all over the pillow, white bandages around his uncovered chest.  
_White._  
Dazzling, blinding, so _asphyxiating_ you could feel that light pressing you down on your knees and sucking your life away.  
Dear Juzo, there was a carnivorous heat in your torn heart, wasn’t there? It was beating _faster_ and _faster_ , making you feel queasy.  
_Weakening your soul._  
_Wrecking your pride._  
A disgusting _arousal_ , so abhorrent you couldn't help, but asked yourself for a long instant:  
_“Am I Despair?”_  
   
Junko Enoshima laughed in your ears, her tongue on the back of your neck.  
She was dead, wasn’t she? But her ghost was still with you, her voice kept you company.  
Loneliness wasn’t a luxury you could afford.  
_You were never really alone._  
   
Stretching out your hand, you wavered.  
Munakata’s fingers were cold, and you could still see blood traces under his nails, among the lines of his skin – skin so glassy you could recognise all his green veins.  
“I’m sorry.”  
How many times have you kept repeating that whining moan?  
_“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”_  
For every single failure, there were always and only those empty words, as they could repair all the shit you had done so far.  
You were one of God’s biggest mistakes.  
_How cute._  
   
“Please, open your eyes.”  
It was a selfish wish, just to ease your sense of guilt, because when you closed your very eyes, you kept seeing the same scene _again and again_.  
Bullets noises and a blood stain all over a white shirt.  
_Bang, bang._  
Munakata was falling down as he lost his grip on his katana, a hand pressed on his stomach and eyes open wide as his guard when he shielded you.  
_Bang, bang._  
Neither of you two seemed to believe in what was happening.  
_“Sakakura...”_  
His last words.  
You couldn’t really guess what they were filled with.  
Astonishment.  
Fear.  
Disappointment.  
_Relief._  
At least, you were able to grab him before he hit the ground.  
“Munakata!”  
_Kyosuke..._  
Blood was down his mouth, on his white and wonderfully tapered hands.  
_You hated yourself._  
Even in that moment, you found him beautiful, so _sublime_ it almost hurt, digging in that rotten heart of yours.  
You screamed for help, unsure if you needed it for yourself too.  
   
_Munakata nearly died for you._  
This thought alone was enough to make you shiver in shameful excitement.  
“I’m worth his life.”  
The idea exploded in your mind, before it was muffled by a sharp anguish.  
_No._  
You were not worth his eyes, his voice, his smile slowly rarer or his intelligence.  
You were not worth his blood, nor its metallic smell – _it has infected and wet your clothes_.  
You would have offered him all your breaths, every single fragment of light, just to see his eyes opening again and all the mechanical scraps around him shutting down.  
   
In some old fairytales, in order to save the princess from dark and hopeless spells, Prince Charming just needed to kiss her.  
But you were no prince.  
_You merely were a peasant._  
   
You laughed, bowing to his bed, holding onto his cold and stiff hand, running your fingers through his hair, still soiled after the battle.  
“Even if I know you won’t wake up, forgive me.”  
You were selfish, a filthy bastard, but you considered that if you didn’t dare in that instant, then you wouldn’t get a second chance.  
_So, you kissed him for real, Juzo, didn’t you?_  
You pressed your lips against his – they were coarse and dry –, and it wasn’t like you had always daydreamed.  
   
_Pushing him gently against a wall, grabbing his shoulders and then hiding you both from the world in that simple and common act of love._  
   
You laughed again, whilst your heart was sinking in the dark ocean of a crime too great to _bear_. You were unable to protect him, to safeguard what dearest was left to you. And such a stupid deed, _that insignificant and pointless kiss_ , would had been stayed a secret between those walls and you alone.  
   
Out of the blue, Kyosuke’s hand grabbed yours back.  
_So, dear Juzo, it seemed you weren’t that much powerless._  
The hideous knot close to your pathetic heart loosened a bit. Then, you hold on tighter, intertwining your fingers with his, kissing the back of his hand.  
_Weren’t you exaggerating?_  
   
_As long as I can._  
_As long as his eyes are still closed._  
   
_Despicable coward._  
   
“I'm not worthy of your life. I offer... I give, I sell you mine in exchange, but please, please... don’t leave me. Without you, I'm just a bunch of mistakes and wrong choices.”  
   
And if you only had had one more single tear in your body, you would have cried right there, against his warmer hand, on his lips so gorgeous you would have kissed them for another thousand times.  
  
Enoshima was closing her rotten hands around your neck, her still lacquered nails weakened by death deep under your flesh.  
   
_Must filter her out._  
_As long as I can._  
 

“Your disguised despair is marvellous.”  
“He is my hope. All I need. My breath. My reason to live and to die.”

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my mother tongue and this is the very first time I've tried to write a fanfiction in a different language than my own. I hope you have enjoyed it. =)  
> Thanks to Artie, who was the beta-reader for this little work ♥, and thanks to those who have read it! ♥


End file.
